Words from a Man I Once Knew

A wise man once told me, "No one's going to pay you to stand around being beautiful". That's why I pose in front of people when they're trying to take a picture. Afterward, I usually ask them for $15, but I try to be a nice guy and offer a free signature and say I won't charge tax. They typically yell at me, but I offer to flex, then they call the police.

That's right. I was a cop once. No biggie.