Top 5 Ways to Pick Up Chicks

1. Spike Your Hair in Ridiculously Conspicuous Ways -- so as to be recognized

2. Wear Sunglasses -- douchey pro-tip, aviators work the best, RayBands are making a breakthrough, while Oakley's are a surefire way to pick a honey up

3. Get RiiiiPED! -- Look as much like the Jersey Shore crew as you possibly can

4. Use Words like "hella", "chill", "lettuce", "hang", "bro-man"

5. Be As Self-absorbed as possible -- let the world know how important you are by flexing as much as possible as you knock other people around you over