Words from a Man I Once Knew

A wise man once told me, "No one's going to pay you to stand around being beautiful". That's why I pose in front of people when they're trying to take a picture. Afterward, I usually ask them for $15, but I try to be a nice guy and offer a free signature and say I won't charge tax. They typically yell at me, but I offer to flex, then they call the police.

That's right. I was a cop once. No biggie.

Beards!

Beards. They're hella popular lately. They make you look intense. Look at the gentleman above. He has a purpose... and that's to GROW BEARDS!

Top 5 Ways to Pick Up Chicks

1. Spike Your Hair in Ridiculously Conspicuous Ways -- so as to be recognized

2. Wear Sunglasses -- douchey pro-tip, aviators work the best, RayBands are making a breakthrough, while Oakley's are a surefire way to pick a honey up

3. Get RiiiiPED! -- Look as much like the Jersey Shore crew as you possibly can

4. Use Words like "hella", "chill", "lettuce", "hang", "bro-man"

5. Be As Self-absorbed as possible -- let the world know how important you are by flexing as much as possible as you knock other people around you over

Top 5 Douchey Video Games

1. Call of Duty: Black Ops

2. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

3. Call of Duty: World at War

4. Gears of War 2

5. Call of Duty: Modern Wafare 3

Call of Duty, with its millions of sales tops this list for its mainstream, dude-bro appeal. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 follows for the way it ramped up to Black Ops' success. While World at War is in third just because. Gears of War 2 is in fourth for its chain-sawwing fanbase that is anything but kind, hence douchey. While Modern Warfare 3 gets last for the scant details about it.

Hello All

Hello fellow d-bags, this is Flammen in the house. Douchestyle will be your one-stop location for all things DOUCHE. Fashion tips, tips getting involved in the fashion industry, to dos, to don'ts, behavior recommendations, sandals, glasses, dance styles, moves, douchey cars, trends, movies, video games, music, and most importantly, how to pick up chicks.